VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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