I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
Randomize
