We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Randomize
