i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
