but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Randomize
