She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
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