I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Randomize
