You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
