Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
