I wannas sexs uuuuu
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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