I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Randomize
