nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
