haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
