This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
I party with great urgency now.
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