quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
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