Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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