Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
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