Where did you get a picture of my penis
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
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