Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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