My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Randomize
