i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Randomize
