Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
