I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Randomize
