Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Randomize
