I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
