Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
Church boner. Awkwardddd
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
How does it feel to date your dad?
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
