Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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