She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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