So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
