where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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