I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
