miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
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