i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Randomize
