you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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