That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
We left an ass print on the piano.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
