Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
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