i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
Randomize
