so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
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