You're so nebulous sometimes
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
