I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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