I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
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