Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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