both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
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