Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
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