"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
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