We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
