Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
