i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
