Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
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