stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
Randomize