Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
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