How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
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