Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Randomize
