Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
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