Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
Randomize
